Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Yet another fucking self-titled album that will be known by the color on the cover: a first look at the first single

Yes, sigh, Weezer have not given up yet. "Weezer" (Blue, '94) and "Pinkerton" days having long ago passed, and "Weezer" (Green, '01) and "Maladroit" having slowly pushed remaining fans to indifference years ago (and "Make Believe" further solidifying the fact that no one would ever, ever give a shit about what this band does ever again), most of us breathed heavy relief when the band dissolved in 2006. After having heard Beverly Hills one too many times (which, it should be noted, was the first time I heard it...I unfortunately suffered through it many many more times, never of my own fault or selection), I thought Rivers Cuomo would be sent to Guantanamo for his unique breed of sonic terrorism against music fans everywhere. He wasn't, but his proclamation that the band would no longer exist was good enough for me.

Not long ago word began to surface that America's premier 90s nerd rockers would throw another pile of shit onto the shelves of retailers everywhere, and with the announcement I imagined the intention would be that stupid kids would latch onto it hoping to achieve the same kind of adoration for the record their siblings, and (holy shit) maybe even parents by this point had done back in '94 for the band's legitimately awesome debut release, and again in '96 for the introspective and quirky left-field follow up. It's pretty obvious that anyone who has heard the most recent releases has definitely jumped the =w= ship, but maybe the novelty of releasing multiple self-titled albums is still backhandedly chuckle-worthy in some backwoods village where the internet hasn't pierced every soul. I, for one, however, wanted nothing to do with "Weezer" ('08, Red).

I was browsing the internet today and I stumbled upon their first single, Pork and Beans. Pork and FUCKING Beans!!! Damn, I haven't heard a single note and I'm already getting queasy. I've been pretty angry today (for work-related reasons I'd rather not discuss...though for the record, fuck my job), and though I knew it'd be something I regretted, all semblances of rational thinking have flown out the window today and so I clicked the link and listened to the song. I know, I know.

So, impressions? I've had the song playing in the background for as long as I've been writing this. So far, I don't want to kill myself yet, but I am getting angrier and angrier. He's singing about not giving a shit about what people think and about pork and beans and getting old and pandering to the masses and some other shit (I heard Timbaland's name in there...this song has the makings of being a Kros classic), and I can't help but feel that it's either a postmodern declaration of the cliche they've become as a band, or just another shitty single. It's not as shitty as anything I heard from "Make Believe", but it's still pretty bad in the vapid-but-melodic way that "Weezer" (Green, '01) was bad. Actually it's definitely worse than any track on that album or even "Maladroit". At least it sounds a lot better than Beverly Hills even if the lyrics are dumb as shit.

Rating:
Anti-bears: 2.
Rock-bottom was established with the last album and especially the singles from it. Pork and Beans isn't quite as terrible as that was. Also, since I never listen to the radio, hardly ever go to the Mall, have friends with pretty decent taste in music, and MTV doesn't play videos anymore, I doubt I'll ever have to hear this again.

Bears: 5.
This song's a pile of shit. Weezer haven't broken up yet, and there hasn't been a massive recall on their last three albums. While I may not have to hear this song again, I'll definitely have to hear about it if I keep reading the things I read online. Where the fuck did Matt Sharp go?

For the daring: http://weezer.com/

6 comments:

charz said...

I made it through about a fourth of it. To the first refrain of "pork and beans." I'm not sure though, is the song necessarily bad, or is weezer just over? If weezer traveled back in time and released this song on, say, Pinkerton, and 12 year old garz, charz, J, etc were listening to it, would it be cool? Is weezer bad now, or have they just not changed? I mean, this song definately SOUNDS like the "weezer sound." Perhaps their time has just passed, and they didn't adapt as they should have.

Eric said...

musically the chorus is ok, but that intro acoustic-y twang kind of bothers me. Mostly it's that the lyrics are shit and that the guitar riff sounds so much like they're trying to emulate what they used to soundlike. It's so forced and contrived. And yeah, I guess it's mostly that Weezer is done (not Marc).

charz said...

well garz, maybe Rivers C wrote the lyrics directed at you:

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you...
...
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think


so, garz, pork and beans: terrible, or incredibly brilliant???

Eric said...

i've heard the song was supposed to be a jab at their label for forcing the band to write a "radio-friendly" song, and while i can somewhat respect their defiance, the whole act seems a little hollow. And in that context, the song is even worse...there's no subtlety whatsoever. It's like he's a fucking 13 year old arguing with his parents about going to see a rated R movie.

sure, he doesn't have anything to prove to me, but if that were really true, he wouldn't have to tell me.

Danny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Danny said...

Those are some fucking lazy lyrics.