Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Song

I am about to leave for Austin to hang with Eric (Garz) and Jono. But before I leave I want to post this Halloween song. Now I know what you're thinking, "Danny, you already made a Halloween post!" Well yeah, I put up a random downtown picture of my girlfriend, but I was really drunk when I posted that. And Eric, if you read this, I'm gonna need some kind of energy drink tonight because I didn't sleep much last night at all. Of course I'm gonna buy some Lone Star on my way up if I remember.

K, here's a scary-type video from the Misfits

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Meagan! Yo!

With love,

Downtown H-Town

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oasis - Dig Out Your Soul

via Facebook wall posts:

Tony (Danny's brother): just wondering, is someone gonna review the new Oasis album for Charz? Before even hearing it, im afraid they missed the bus, if you know what i mean. They had there time to become the next Beatles, or Blur for that matter, but unless its a brilliant album , which is a possibility, a minute possibility, I expect it to be dated, and not in a good way. Lemme know what you think. Maybe ill give it a listen myself

You know, that's a good question. I saw a commercial for their new single yesterday and it actually wasn't bad at all. I was thinking the same as you...that they've been pretty irrelevant for the past 6 or 8 years, but this new song was pretty good. That said, I still don't know if I'm compelled to listen. If you want to tackle it, or write anything else for charz2k for that matter, let me know and I'll give you access.

you know what, whens the last time you saw a commercial for a new album that was any good? They really need to use TV to get that information out? A little low if you ask me. The last album I saw a commercial for was Nickleback or some bullshit. Before I even listen to the album I'm gonna be biased about it, if I was to review it, which I appreciate the invitation to, I'm gonna be a little vexed by it. So if you don't mind that, I think I could review it for you...maybe, I'm still not sure if I'm worthy enough

There ya go, Tony, you're worthy. I listened to this album and after a few minutes my mind started wandering and I wished I was listening to Definitely Maybe (not because the new album reminded me of DM, but because the mediocrity reminded me of when Oasis was worthy of any praise they were given). I'm not in middle school anymore, but Definitely Maybe is still awesome. I found a copy at a thrift store the other day and bought it, even though I already own it, because I left it in Houston. That's how good it is. This new one? Well, you know that part of High Fidelity where Jack Black's punctual, lovable, and ever critical character Barry gets all up on John Cusack for listening to "old sad bastard music " (which is really Belle & Sebastian, who are awesome) and Rob Gordon replies that he just wants to listen to something he can ignore? WELL, do I have the album for you!

Oh yeah. Tony was totally right on that tv commercial thing. Good albums are never advertised on tv.

Bears: 4.0. I should have known that this album would live up to expectations. I should have known enough to ignore it.

Anti-bears: 3.1. Once you get into it, it practically ignores itself. Also, this inspired me to listen to Definitely Maybe for the first time in a while. You lose some, you win some.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I Love the Cubs

What have I been thinking all along? I love the Cubs, they're great. To think that I could ever harbor hatred for them so much now seems preposterous for me.

Zambrano, I love you. (Can I call you Dr. Z?) I love how until April of 2009 you will only be able to give your lame tirades in your own house and destroy your own property and act like a baby where no one has to see you.

Edmonds, I love you. Thanks for acting like you hate the Cardinals now and all your years there didn't mean anything. Thanks for being the experienced post season player that was supposed to join the Cubs and lead them through the playoffs. It would have been better for you to hang up your cleats before you decided to play for Chicago.

Cubs fans, I love you. Thank you for always griping. I am sure this series will give you a cornucopia of places to lay blame and fault. I'd would have much rather let that goat stay in the stadium back in 1945 than let Zambrano anywhere near Wrigley. Seems as though there are multiple goats up on the northside nowadays.
As for the curse itself, you ejected a guy for bringing his farm animal into the stadium- what did you think was going to happen?

Bears: 0.0. The Cubs, by definition, don't even qualify as true Bears.

But above all things, I love this fan at Dodger Stadium. The cameras showed him in the heat of the moment in the bottom of the 9th as the Dodgers rounded up a huge upset of the Cubs:

Is that Tim Lincecum?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Springer for President

A few days ago I was doing some laundry and flipping through channels, late morning on a weekday. Even with cable, this is ghost-town time for tv unless you like soap operas, home shopping, trashy talk shows, or George Lopez. While I wouldn't wish Sr. Lopez or soap operas on my worst enemy, and home shopping shows never have anything I like, sometimes daytime talk shows are televised gold. The one I watched on this particular day was perhaps the most famous of the trashy talk shows, guided by the "Ringmaster" himself, The Jerry Springer Show.

Now, I only managed to tune in to see the final five or ten minutes of the program, but I am not exaggerating when I say it was probably the best five or ten minutes of continuous television I have ever watched*.

I walked in on a scene with this very vocal middle-aged woman yelling at her daughter for sticking by her man, a dapper young man with aspirations of military service. Jerry Springer, noticing a flaw in the gentleman's plans is quick to point out that you need a high school education (or equivalent) to join the Marines (is this true? I have no idea, but I trust Jerry). Of course he and his girl have thought of that already and she gets all defensive and points out that he's getting a GED so it's all good. Jerry: "Well then. It's hard to believe we're LOSING over there!**" Audience/me: uproar. It's so true! This guy's a dumbass and he's going to be part of the face of our military operations. Oh, the tragedy.

Next, Jerry announces that there's going to be a spelling competition. Naturally, this is going to be good. The producer, whose name I do not know now that it is no longer Steve Wilkos*** pulls the redneck guy and the angry mother of the girlfriend onto the stage, front and center, to compete against each other in a battle of what little and questionable mastery of the written English language each has to offer. I'm going to write this out dialogue-style so I don't muddle it up with excess verbosity, and because it stands so brilliantly on its own.

Producer (to the mother): "First word, 'Loudmouth, as in---'"
Mother (speaking quickly): "L-O-U-D-M-O-U-T-H"
Producer: "Ma'am, you have to wait. I'll use the word in a sentence for you"

Mother: "Oh, ok"
Producer: "Your word is 'loudmouth', as in 'You are a
Audience: chuckles

Mother (slower than before): "L-O-U-D-M-O-U-T-H"

Producer: "Correct". (Now, to redneck guy): "Your word is 'hillbilly', as in 'has anyone ever called you a
hillbilly before?"
Audience: laughs

Redneck (looks confused, doesn't quite know why audience is laughing): "H-I-L-L-B-I-L-L-Y"
Daughter: looks proud

Producer (to mother): "Wait for it this time. Your next word is 'annoying', as in, 'most of the members of this audience think you are really
Audience: laughs

Mother (defiantly): "A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G"
Producer (to redneck): "Your next word is 'dentist', as in 'Before you leave Chicago, you should visit a
Audience and Mother: uproar

Redneck: "D-E-N-I-S-T"
Producer: "I'm sorry, can you spell that again?"

Redneck: "D-E-N-I-S-T"

Producer: "I'm sorry but that's incorrect. The correct spelling is 'D-E-N-
T-I-S-T'" Redneck: "AW MAN" (throws his arms down like Kros)

Then the mother gets all up in his face for being a dumbass, the audience keeps laughing, and I'm dying on the floor by this point. I don't remember what the final thought was, but it was hilarious also.

*Statement does not include The Wire, The Simpsons seasons 1-9, Beavis and Butthead, or, well, anything that can be classified as legitimately "good" tv.
**Clearly, not all military men have the intellectual deficiency that this guy does. Support our troops.
***Congrats on getting your own show, Steve!

2008 Char2k Playoff Preview Extravaganza

So, once again the 2008 MLB playoffs are upon us. I used to look forward to the playoffs eagerly every year, as my Braves were sure to be contenders. And then my excitement would fade, as my Braves were sure to find new ways to flame out year after year. Those days are behind us though. They ended in dramatic fashion in a series that pitted suitemates against each other. In the end, the Garz-JJVen alliance bested the J-Charz pairing. UGGH how could Farnsworth blow that 5 run lead. Anyways, let's take a look at this year's match-ups!

Cubs vs Dodgers

PREDICTION: I'm having trouble calling this one. The dodgers had a good September, and people are talking about Manny for MVP. On the other hand, the Cubs pulled away nicely in the Central race. I am narrowly going to take the Cubs on this one, just because Andruw Jones played for the dodgers this year, and some of his loser-residue may have been left behind on the team (but I'm sure whatever he's doing right now, he has a big grin on his face)

Phillies vs Brewers

PREDICTION: In the sprit of full disclosure, I hate Philadelphia and I love Milwaukee. Yes John Kerry is eating a delicious looking cheesesteak, and Miller beer kinda blows, but I grew up going to a lot of Brewers games, because my grandparents live in Milwaukee. The Brewers were always my #2 team, and I've been sporting my brewers cap around town that I got years ago at free-hat day at the ballpark. (And a certain classmate of ours was very pro-philly...) So, inspite of the fact that Sheets is hurt and CC has pitched 14 times in the last 6 days, I gotta take my Brew, setting up a Midwest NLCS showdown.

Now, I could and probably should go on into the AL. Pundits say the AL is way stronger. I saw, Pshhhaw. Charz2k is an pro-NL site. That's something we all agree on. So I'll quickly sum up the AL... Whitesox beat the (Devil) Rays, crushing the hopes of... nobody, because who the hell cares about the Rays, aside from the fact that it's a nice story. And I'll take the Angels, because God is obviously cursing Boston, after letting them win championships in the 3 major sports. Brady is down, and the Sox will be down next. And who will win the ALCS? Who cares? The Brew Crew will shock the world, in spite of the fact that they aren't very good, and dominate whomever the AL throws at them.

2008 is the year of the Brewer! Yes I glossed over the Brewers beating the Cubs, but this image says it all: they will shoot the cubs and stand proudly over their dead bodies.