Thursday, March 26, 2009

Golden Brown

Golden brown texture like sun
Lays me down with my mind she runs
Throughout the night
No need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown

Every time just like the last
On her ship tied to the mast
To distant lands
Takes both my hands
Never a frown with golden brown

Golden brown finer temptress
Through the ages she's heading

From far away
Stays for a day
Never a frown with golden brown

Never a frown
With golden brown
Never a frown
With golden brown

Wow, what a cool song. With that mysterious evil carnival organ and the barely veiled lyrics, The Stranglers wrote this one with a purpose. "Le'es righ' a song 'bout 'eroin 'ey can play on th' radio, eh?", right? It'd take a moron to not figure out what this song is about after about two seconds of vocals. Belt your arm, make a fist, pop in the needle, and watch that tea-toned river of impending immediate and visceral pleasure course its way down the thin clear tube and into your soul. I know you can see it, but can you feel it?

No. Idiot.

I don't mean to be an asshole, and if you've never experienced the substance that could be responsible for inspiring such a perfectly-crafted and poetic pop song, you are forgiven and are not a moron (at least not due to misinterpreting this song).

Those who know me know I do not have an addictive personality, but rarely does a song about a dangerous intoxicant chill me to the core as much as this one does.

And as thinly veiled as the song's lyrical subtext, so is the underlying subject of this review:

That's right! It's a Chick-fil-a chicken biscuit.

"Throughout the night, never a fight, never a frown, with golden brown." There's nothing better than waking up from a nightmare and realizing that once 6:30 rolls around you are on your way to breakfast bliss. Throw a little honey on it for comfort, but make no mistake, this sandwich stands on its own.

And beware the temptation of imitations, as they are a trap by demons to fool the weak.

4.999 anti-bears.
4.5 bears, due to unavailability between 10:30 am and 6:30 am the next day, and all day Sunday.

1 comment:

J said...

i don't know what the best part about this article is but some of my favorites are the subtle genius of typing the lyrical words in golden brown color; the turning-on-a-dime subject shift to a classic garz/2k item; and the fact that now we get "tyson's any-tizers" frozen chicken advertisements.