Happy New Year Boggs

Yeah yeah. Do you know what we missed? It was like the funniest thing ever. One time Wade Boggs drank like 28 beers on a two hour flight to a road series back when he played ball (true story). Last year (2007) Sebadoh released a tour-only outtakes album called Wade Through The Boggs. That's so funny. As if just the fucking concept of a man like Wade Boggs existing wasn't funny enough, he just has to go and have a name like Wade Boggs. I don't know what it is that's so funny about his name. It's like just so precise and kind of pirate/biker style. I think Wade Boggs like popped up only 19 times in his whole career or something. It's a really low number and it may not be 19. But I'm not gonna' research it. I'm not being graded on this bullshit.

But yeah that's like a new front for expansion in the world of nomenclature: things and people whose names are like perfect. I'll be damned if the man doesn't look and act just like a Wade Boggs. It's such an appropriate name. I think I'm gonna' name my dog Wade Boggs...but only if it has a Boggsian mustache. And I'll see to it that it does.

What'd you guys do on New Years? Oh Loooord! Would you believe I threw up?! When I throw up it's like crazy. I'm a vomit champion. It's just projectile vomit with me I swear. And while I didn't throw up as I was having intercourse...I cut it pretty close. Is that an inappropriate thing to share? I hope my girlfriend doesn't get mad. Nah, she won't, she's cool like that. I puked three times outside of Jonathan's apartment. I told Jonathan and Meagan to go inside without me (hurry! hurry!) so they wouldn't see me sick it in the parking lot median. Then I puked more when I got home. Today I felt like shit and I drank some special tea.

I have no idea why I'm up so early. I'm listening to this Stinky Toys album I got ad infinitum. Do you think "Stinky Toys" should really be called "Euphemisms for Dildoes?" It's really good and it's French 70's punk rock with a girl singer.

K, anyway, have a good year in 2008. You should all try new things (like chocolate poop cookies). Do something weird. I challenge you to do something weird. For starters, you can make your friends really uncomfortable by telling them you love them all the time.

Eric, I love you man!

Sincerely,
Daniel

New Years Resolution: Do more charz2k articles!