Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy New Year Boggs

Yeah yeah. Do you know what we missed? It was like the funniest thing ever. One time Wade Boggs drank like 28 beers on a two hour flight to a road series back when he played ball (true story). Last year (2007) Sebadoh released a tour-only outtakes album called Wade Through The Boggs. That's so funny. As if just the fucking concept of a man like Wade Boggs existing wasn't funny enough, he just has to go and have a name like Wade Boggs. I don't know what it is that's so funny about his name. It's like just so precise and kind of pirate/biker style. I think Wade Boggs like popped up only 19 times in his whole career or something. It's a really low number and it may not be 19. But I'm not gonna' research it. I'm not being graded on this bullshit.

But yeah that's like a new front for expansion in the world of nomenclature: things and people whose names are like perfect. I'll be damned if the man doesn't look and act just like a Wade Boggs. It's such an appropriate name. I think I'm gonna' name my dog Wade Boggs...but only if it has a Boggsian mustache. And I'll see to it that it does.

What'd you guys do on New Years? Oh Loooord! Would you believe I threw up?! When I throw up it's like crazy. I'm a vomit champion. It's just projectile vomit with me I swear. And while I didn't throw up as I was having intercourse...I cut it pretty close. Is that an inappropriate thing to share? I hope my girlfriend doesn't get mad. Nah, she won't, she's cool like that. I puked three times outside of Jonathan's apartment. I told Jonathan and Meagan to go inside without me (hurry! hurry!) so they wouldn't see me sick it in the parking lot median. Then I puked more when I got home. Today I felt like shit and I drank some special tea.

I have no idea why I'm up so early. I'm listening to this Stinky Toys album I got ad infinitum. Do you think "Stinky Toys" should really be called "Euphemisms for Dildoes?" It's really good and it's French 70's punk rock with a girl singer.

K, anyway, have a good year in 2008. You should all try new things (like chocolate poop cookies). Do something weird. I challenge you to do something weird. For starters, you can make your friends really uncomfortable by telling them you love them all the time.

Eric, I love you man!


New Years Resolution: Do more charz2k articles!