Monday, February 16, 2009

Looking Forward to Baseball: 2k Interviews A-Rod!

Well, baseball season is less than two months away, and here at 2k, we can hardly wait. To get us ready for opening day, New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez has kindly sat down with us for an exclusive interview.

2k: Hi A-Rod. Thanks for interviewing with us. We don't usually get high profile athletes wanting anything to do with our site.

A-Rod: Hey no problem, no problem. I read your site all the time. I really liked that Renwick Art Gallery piece. When I went there, I got a whole bunch of those Game Fish for my teammates for souvenirs. They love those things.

2k: Yeh, yeh, well, speaking of souvenirs, you know we are excited about getting back to the ballpark this spring for some Major League games. I've never caught a foul ball at a game though. Any suggestions?

A-Rod: Hey man, first thing is that you can't be afraid of the ball. Some of those come flying in there. I recommend maybe
bringing your glove to the game. Sometimes I even take mine out
to third base with me, it really helps. Otherwise I just kind of
squinch my face up and let the left-fielder deal with it. Oh and I
hate it when you catch a foul ball and there's some little kid next to you and everyone makes you feel guilty for not giving it to him.
Don't fall for that kind of stuff.
2k: Thanks A-Rod. I really appreciate that. What I hate, though, is when you get to your seats and there is that big fat crazy fan drinking beer with their shirt off on a hot summer day. What do you do about that?

A-Rod: Dude, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Take your shirt off, too. I think you'll find that they are really friendly in the long run. Just try to relax, have a good time, and I think you can get along with them. Red Sox fans, Cubs fans, and even Astro fans are the most gentle, really, if you just let them be.

2k: Thanks A-Rod. I think I know what you mean. I guess what we're all dying to know next is what your favorite ballpark food is?

A-Rod: Well it's gotta be the hotdog. I'm too lazy to actually go to the concession stand though, and the worst part about it is trying to flag down the vendor walking in the aisles. (2K shows him photo). Oh, yeah, you have a picture! Yeah, see what I mean? I'm hollering at the top of my lungs here and waving my bat, and the hot dog guy still ignores me. Typical New Yorker. John Rocker was right.
2k: The fans really seem to like you though, A-Rod.

A-Rod: Oh yeah. I love them, and they love me. I love to see myself
on the front page every day. I mean they should love me. I was happily taking steroids down in Texas and I gave that all up to come here. Those photographers are sneaky though. They snapped this one right as Giambi was accusing me of getting into his stash.

2k: I can't even imagine. Can't even imagine. How do you deal with the pressures? New York? The Big Apple? Madonna? What a stage. Always in the spotlight. I don't think I could handle it. Charz2k would die for that kind of fanfare. How do you handle it.

A-Rod: I know. And let me be the first to tell you. Baseball isn't all just fun
and games. People think that you are just a big prima donna and you go out there and get paid millions and millions of dollars to play something everyone played in high school while you make working class fans pay $150 for a ticket to the game. But it's not fun and games. I work as hard as anyone at what I do. You try it. I stay focused 162 games a year, and I hang around until the 4th inning of the All-Star Game. You try it and see how it feels. From the moment I walk onto that field for batting practice, you have to be locked in.

2k: Sounds like a tough life, to hear it out of your own mouth. Well, how about those Red Sox? What a rivalry, huh?

A-Rod: Oh I know. They're all queer up there. Remember that
play in the 7th game of the 2004 ALCS, when they came back from three games to none to beat us in the series? Bronson Arroyo was trying to feel me up on the first base line. Most people tried to blame me for cheating by swatting the ball out of his hand, but c'mon, I think we all know how Boston people are.
2k: OK but is that a purse on your arm?

A-Rod: Duh. No wonder charz2k hasn't hit the big time yet.

2k: Well A-Rod, last question. How does the steroid newsbreak affect your legacy as a future hall-of-famer?
A-Rod: It's hard, 2k, it's hard. I mean, what are they going to put on the permanent plaque? Will it be "A-Roid," or "A-R*D"? I am kind of partial to the first one, personally. As for my legacy as a Yankee? It won't matter a bit. I am a ballplayer that produces. They don't call me Mr. July for nothing.

2k: Thank you A-Rod.


charz said...

Way to score that interview J!! The rest of the mainstream press has to wait til 2pm today... what chumps! You got much more out of him than Peter Gammons. Can you bring me with you to the Pulitzers and the Espys?

J said...

You have to ask A-Rod the right questions. Otherwise he just says "Talk to the Union."

Eric said...

Do you think A-Rod ever just orders a hot dog as a joke and swings his bat and hits it back into the stands when the guy tosses it to him?

Danny said...

Peter Gammons should've asked him about hitting hot dogs into the stands!