Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The post below . . .

. . . may be the worst post that has ever been put on this blog. While I don't really like this bastardized version of charz2k, at least most of the posts have a point. The original concept for charz2k was a parody of a review site. Since moving to this blog format, reviews only account for about 30% of the posts. The remaining 70% is regular blog-type garbage. BUT AT LEAST THOSE POST HAVE A POINT OR SOME FORM OF VALUE! Really, reading charz's post made me think of a certain incident involving Naveen, Garz and a blueberry bagel. It may even be worse than that incident. At least that incident was related by speech. While I can't say that it wasted less of my time—in all honestly I can probably read faster than Naveen (or a surrogate) can speak—at least the bagel story spawned an incredibly long-lived line of jokes. Charz informing us denizens of the web that he is going to watch the Simpsons will do no such thing. He didn't even have the sense to wait until he'd watched the freakin' (yes, Parks, that is a lion) show, so he could give us a report on this endeavor. Instead, we are forced to browse through the comments to find a poorly drafted re-cap of what we all know is a mediocre show.

I would like to take this opportunity to do a quick-and-dirty classic review of the current state of charz2k.

Anti-Bears – 2.314
  • Occasionally, Garz, Dan or Jared writes a funny post.
  • Actually, Jared's posts (sans the dream post) are never all that funny, but they are usually in a review format which I'll have to count as a plus.
  • If I ever forget why I once put my head under a car tire and asked Garz to run it over, I can always remind myself by returning to this page.
Bears – 5+ (Weight assigned individually for effect; remember that the scale is not additive, so the overall score is NOT the sum of its parts)
  • This is nothing more than a blog—I still think I'm too cool to ever like something that could be called a "blog." (3)
  • Do I really care what 5 songs pitchfork media told Garz to listen to this week? (2)
  • Charz's post. (17 – for a point of reference, if there were ever an earthquake of this magnitude, the earth would not only crumble, it would most likely vaporize)
I feel very dirty after posting on this charz2k blog, but something had to be said. Since everyone is obviously incredibly interested, I'm going to go brush my teeth. I'll probably spend about 1.2 minutes doing so, after which I will take out my contacts. I will then sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the wall for approximately 8 hours. This will still be more fun than reading about charz's plans to watch the simpsons.

1 comment:

Eric said...

What brand of toothpaste, toothbrush, and contact lenses do you use? Is your wall bare, or do you have pictures on it? Are there any cracks in the wall?