From the Archives, Volume 2

From the Archives continues today with Charz's (yes, the same Charz that charz2k is named after; in fact this post's author is in fact Charz2k and not Charz, so I'm sorry about lying to you) first article. I'm not keeping any sort of chronological order in my regurgitation of the original posts, so if they seem out of order you can chalk it up to whatever forces of the universe inspire me to select whichever one I happen to deem acceptable for any given day. However, there is one certainty. When I re-read this article, it became apparent that our ratings system might be lost on new visitors (if any), so I'll make the next edition of From the Archives the description of the ratings system. You can try to figure it out (it's not that hard), but the terminology may be lost on anyone who takes themselves seriously.

I intend to embark on a few of firsts for this website. My first first is that this is my, charz's, first true review. My second first is that I think the preceding sentence was the first time that the word "first" has been used 3 times in one sentence. A feat that will perhaps never be matched. (There is a joke here. Pay attention and figure it out). Finally, this is the first movie review for the site. Hopefully Master Thomas will permit such a review on the site, or else I will have squandered precious minutes in writing this.
So, what movie am I reviewing? Is it the thrilling blockbuster Mission Impossible 3? The oceanic adventure Poseidon? The new rip-roaring Lindsay Lohan flick? Sorry eager readers, but I ask you to go back in time with me 22 years (or 250 years, depending how you look at it) to the movie Amadeus. This is a movie I had wanted to see for a long time, and finally got around to renting it this afternoon.

Damn, I've written 2 paragraphs and haven't even gotten started on the review. Let's get this biatch rolling...

So, for those of you who don't know, this movie is about Mozart, and his adversary Salieri. Their rivalry is pretty much one-sided, since Salieri is seriously lacking in the "skillz" department. Meanwhile, Wolfy's skillz can aptly be described as "mad." In fact, Mozart don't even know that the rivalry exists, since Salieri blows balls. Salieri becomes consumed with jealousy that this impetuous youngster simply owns him musically. Now that I think about, it seems that Good Will Hunting knocked off the plot, and applied it to math. But moving on, if we toss out the plot, subplots, thematic elements, and music, essentially what the movie boils down to is a series of attempted-wreckings on Salieri's part, and brilliant counter-wreckings by Mozart. Even in Mozart's death he wrecks Salieri, since Salieri's evil scheme is foiled by Wolfgang's wife showing up and inadvertently ruining his machinations. There's nothing better in a movie than a douche-bag character getting wrecked repeatedly, and this movie is full of it.

There are many more important features of the film that I must discuss. I certainly can't leave out Mozart's laugh. His laugh is slightly reminiscent of the infamous "Jared cackle." Unfortunately, I can't really put a laugh into words. You must see the movie for yourself, and you'll find yourself emulating the Mozart-laugh throughout the movie. Then there's the fact that the Austrian Emperor is played by none other than Jeffrey Jones, best known for his role as Ferris Bueller's principal (unless you’re dan, who would recognize him foremost as Gustav from "The Pest." Anyway, Mr.jones nails the role as Emperor Joseph II. Nails it.

There are plenty of other things I could delve into, but in the interest of time I think I'll refrain.

To sum up, this movie was really good. It was long, but I was never bored. The music was exceptional, especially for a seasoned music-explorer like myself. If you haven't seen it, go rent it. If you have seen it, see it again.

That's it. Peace.