Pitchfork Music Festival 2007 - Awards

Still not finding the wherewithal to attack the festival with all of the journalistic vigor that a typically non-writer finds downright intimidating, I reckoned (I just had to use the thesaurus to find a better word to use than "figured", which I figured I use all too often; sidenote: does a thesaurus make you think of a triceratops with glasses? I imagine a dinosaur would have to be really smart and geeky, but in the classically clean-cut and composed manner rather than the guy who never showers lest his World of Warcraft character lose a point or something [can that even happen?]) I'd throw a little something together if only to keep this website from falling by the wayside like it did the first go-round. Thus, I present to you: The 2007 Pitchfork Music Festival Awards!

Tightest Pants Award - Bradford Cox (Deerhunter)*
How do you get your legs into pants like that? I think of that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer wore those obscenely tight jeans and couldn't get in or out of them. I also know that there's a strong positive correlation between how tight your pants are and how truly hip you are, so I guess that Bradford would get that award, too. Too bad for Bradford, but that's not an award at charz2k. Bradford is lucky to be getting this award anyway, and only because we spotted him near the food and beverage stands. He wore a dress on stage.

Biggest Asshole Redemption Award - Ramesh Srivastava (Voxtrot)
When you're an up-and-coming musician, it's not a good idea to lie to your fans and tell them that you'll play a song for them if they come to the show the following night if you're not ever really planning on playing that song. As it so happens, Mr. I-Wear-The-Same-Black-And-White-Striped-Shirt-At-Every-Show-I-Play told my friend Kathy that he would play "The Start of Something" if she came to see Voxtrot the following night for their 2nd South by Southwest show that year. As you can imagine, it would be easy to mistake a band's frontman as a credible source on the topic of future setlists, and we saw Voxtrot once again at Emo's. Song after song gets played, yet not one of them was the promised tune. Ramesh is pretty lucky he wasn't around, because he had a punch in the face coming his way.

Upon hearing that Voxtrot were playing at P-fork Fest, it was seen as a golden opportunity to right a wrong, and punch a liar in the face. Since everyone deserves a second chance, the punching of Ramesh would be delayed, and he'd be granted the opportunity to mend his ways and play the song. The only catch is that he wouldn't be informed of the opportunity; he'd have to figure it out and decide to play it on his own. Once again, song after song goes by and none of them are "the song". Sweating vigorously and nearly out of breath, Ramesh mumbles into the mic that they should not have saved this song until the end because it had the most words, and well, he was already out of breath. Ok, dude, one song left for you to avoid some major pain. One (it's not going to be it, fuck this guy), two (definitely won't be the song), three..."This time of night I could call you up..." and there it was.

Most Shit In Hair Or A Hat Award - Jamie Lidell
Though all I saw of Jamie Lidell was from in front of the Connector Stage while waiting for Stephen Malkmus, he had enough weird gold things in his hair (or a hat) for it to be both visible from the giant screen and on the stage itself. If I had brought my camera and decided to give awards to fans, the kid in front of me at Dan Deacon and Girl Talk with all the leaves taped to his headband may have given Jamie a run for his money. I'm pretty sure that kid thought and hoped I was offering him drugs when I pulled out the roll of SweetTarts from my pocket and shared with those around me.

Closing A Good Set With The One Song I Really Wanted To Hear Award - Menomena
Anyone who read my little blurb from last week about the few songs I was digging at the moment probably has a good idea of which song this is. It's got great rhythm, a "wicked" bassline, and plenty of trumpet. When Menomena announced that the upcoming song would be their last, I took the lack of a trumpet in front of the guy who sings (and sometimes plays trumpet) as a sure sign that, as many times before, my favorite song was shelved in favor of another that was probably alright, but stupid for taking the place of my favorite. I was so thrilled that I started that thing where someone starts clapping and all of a sudden the crowd claps deserve their own mention in the liner notes. I was proud of myself despite the crowd clapping effort being slightly half-assed (but still very prevalent and noticeable, just not full-force) because I started it myself and most of the overwhelming crowd claps are started by charismatic band members who relish in having crowds in the palms of their hands. To my credit, I've seen many a band try to start this thing in front of large crowds and have it fail. "Evil Bee", the song that they played, is so good and clappable, though, that I commanded a bunch of hipsters for 2 minutes. Go me.

This concludes The Pitchfork Music Festival 2007 Awards; Good night and good luck.

* Whether Bradford Cox hunts or does not hunt deer is undetermined and irrelevant. His band's name is Deerhunter, if that wasn't clear.